Thinking is Very Dangerous

Hey all.

Check out the new layout.  I haven’t put in a new image yet, but too bad.

I’m considering setting up a website for The TECH Project.

And some things have come up.  So I don’t think I’ll be going after any more agents, at least not with this book.  (These things are called A College Education, Being In Need of Money, Being In Need of a Job, Losing Time After August 19, and A Damn Lot of Writing.) 

I’m highly considering waiting a few years until after I get a degree, or self-publishing instead.  I don’t think I’m actually responsible enough to do the whole publisher thing yet.  I still need help on basically everything.

Anyways – website.  Good idea or bad idea?

Requiem To A Poem

Here’s a Requiem for My Ode To My Booty Shorts.

Requiem
[For Testing]

ACT testing,
thine manner is cruel.
Torturous lengths and
unbearable stuffiness.

To you, ACT test,
bane of my soul,
I scoff!  I sneer!

…I pray that I get a 30 like the Pre-ACT.

I’m not Crazy, I’m just a little… unsure

Okay.  I have several dilemmas.

The first of which being that my… person… is confusing me to the extreme right now.  (Although I did get five pages of writing out of pure anxiety.)  I don’t understand him.  I’m not entirely sure I understand what kind of relationship we have right now.

Translation:  Angst angst angst *write* angst angst angst *bestseller*

My second dilemma is about school.  I just changed my plan, which involves a double major in Communications and English-Creative Writing.  Meaning that I need an internship that covers one of the two.  Hopefully Communications, because I’ve decided that I should go into advertising.  I get really enthusiastic about things, so advertising wouldn’t be that difficult for me.

Translation: GYAAAAAAAH *rip hair out*

The third dilemma stems from the second.  I’m debating with myself over whether or not to keep trying to get The TECH Project published traditionally.  I’m highly considering self-publishing.  Why, you may ask?  People hate self-publishers!

Well, for several reasons.  The TECH Project was never intended to be finished, much less sold to an agent.  It was a pet project that was just for fun, mostly intended to make me stop paying attention to people I was feuding with.  (I’ve reconciled with them, so apparently I succeeded.) 

Originally, I was going to self-publish, because I just wanted to see if people liked my writing and my style.  Then my mom and a lot of other people told me that I should try to get it published.  I just sort of said “okay” and went along with that plan.  But I’ve gotten rejection after rejection after rejection, and they were all imperson rejections as well.

Here are the pros and cons of self-publishing:

• I won’t have a wide-scale base of people to sell to, since I probably won’t be picked up by a major publisher if I self-publish.
• Then again, it’s not like I’m the next J. K. or Stephenie anyways.
• I’ll be able to control the cover art.
• I can use the experience to learn how to advertise, including things like making a budget, creating promotional materials, organizing events, and blurb-writing.
• If I go the traditional route, my publisher would be in charge of that.
• The publisher usually doesn’t do that, anyways.  Authors are in charge.
• I’d have to pay for everything myself.
• I wouldn’t have the experience of walking into a bookstore and saying, “Look, it’s my book!”
• I can wait for that.
• This could be a learning experience.
• But there wouldn’t be a movie!  I love movies, and my writing style reflects the fact that I see my story very clearly, as if I’m standing in the middle of it.
• No chance to break into publishing at seventeen or eighteen.  (I’m sixteen, but my birthday is in EXACTLY a month.)

As you can see, I have arguments with myself because I am so conflicted.  This causes Emoness.  Do you have any advice or suggestions?  Mind all my different points and the purposes I’ve pointed out for self-publishing – so I can learn, not just to satisfy my need to hold a book in my hand.